Undignified Worship: Stripping Our Pride

Hi everyone! 

I cannot believe it's been two months since the last time I posted but here I am, back with a new topic! In the next few posts, I will be writing on worship, especially when it comes to leading worship. 

As you can see from the title of this post, the series is called "Undignified Worship". This series is named after King David's worship in 2 Samuel 6:14-23. In this passage, we see King David half naked, making a fool of himself, dancing and worshipping the Lord while others look at him and ridicule him for being so un-kingly. He didn't care that he looked so silly. He wanted to celebrate God and the arrival of the ark of the covenant to Jerusalem. He said, "I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes" (v.22). 

My pastor once shared on a worship team training that true worship is when you strip yourself naked and worship God without shame (alone, of course). I wasn't on the worship team when he said this but good teachings travel far and it struck my heart. 

I am fortunate enough to experience the "stripping" of myself in different capacities recently. 

I've been serving on the worship team for 6 years now primarily playing keyboard and bass, and occasionally backup vocals. I would lead worship for youth ministry and college ministry but never during service. I can say that I'm very comfortable with this arrangement and with the instruments I play. 

However, one fine day, I was asked to play guitar and lead a song during service since half of the worship team was gone on Men's Retreat. I'm not the best guitarist out there and if I could choose any other instrument, I would because our worship team is usually guitar-led. 

If you've read any of my other posts, you would know how much I care about how I present myself so you could only imagine how anxious I was when I saw the worship schedule.

I remember playing so softly when worship time started afraid to make a mistake. My legs were shaking, my jaw felt like it was locked, I was so tense. I strummed every strum very carefully because I didn't want to make a fool out of myself. I counted every beat so I wouldn't speed up. It was so stressful! 

The first song ended and the sanctuary was silent as we waited for the keyboard pads to come and lead us into the second song. I thought, "Phew! First song done! Three more to go!" I must've motioned my hand too vigorously, which is a surprise considering how tense I was, and I heard the most awful sound ever made as my pick violently strummed the strings of the guitar. I wanted to cry.

I made a fool out of myself - undignified. 

But just as I felt this surge of shame, I heard a voice saying, "You think you've embarrassed yourself right? The worst thing that could've happened just happened. Are you ready to worship me now?" 

I felt so convicted. This whole time, I was making worship about me, about how I sound. I was so fixated on not making a fool of myself when this shouldn't have been in my mind in the first place. Look at King David, even after Saul's daughter "told him off", he couldn't care less about what she thought of him, he just wanted to worship God. 

God dealt with my heart and in some ways, He embarrassed me. He helped me do my job. I'm supposed to make a fool of myself and worship Him. I was supposed to worship Him freely because I get to. Worship is a privilege. We worship not because we have to but because we were given the opportunity to. 

Of course, this is not a license for us to half-heartedly prepare for worship and purposely play poorly on the team. Worship is an offering and we should give God our best! 

When it comes to giving God our "best", sometimes I struggle with what that really means. I have been ministering with a different team at church for a monthly event called "Deeper Still". We would basically have worship time all night long. 

As I was preparing for the first meeting, for some reason I thought it was a great opportunity for me to showcase my vocals and keyboard playing. I started the night with a couple of simple choruses and just as I was about to sing the fancy songs I chose, God said "Hey, this isn't about you." I abandoned them and let the Holy Spirit lead and we had a wonderful worship time. I ended the night feeling so full! He wanted me to strip it away, make it simple and make it about Him. 

It really made me reflect on who I'm serving when I'm on worship. 

I'm not saying God isn't going to let us shine with our gifts. Why else did He give them to us? He wants us to showcase our talents but not without Him. It's always better with Him and it pleases His heart when we partner with Him. 

God is so gracious. He can still move even when we're disobedient. But let's be in partnership with God by stripping our pride away. Worship freely by making a fool of yourself and let God be glorified. Turn your eyes upon Him, the only one who matters. It may be quite humbling but also very comforting. There is only one person in the audience and He is good.